Blog: May 12 2014 | 00:00 AM

HAHA!!Awkward Moments You Will Experience at a Lebanese Dinner

1263 Views
Facebook
Twitter

Lebanese dinners: we promise there will be loud music, fantastic food and awkwardness. Lots and lots of awkwardness.




1. The Kissing Conundrum



This is the number one most awkward scenario likely to happen at a Lebanese dinner. You walk in and, of course, have to kiss each and every single member of your family.

Is it a one kiss for the cool, hip aunt? Is it two for your cousin’s Syrian wife? Is it six for your grandmother, who gives three wet kisses on each cheek?

Wait, should I kiss my cousin on the cheek if I’m a guy and he’s a guy? Hold on… Did I just try to handshake this bearded person, OUT OF POLITENESS, and he shook his head and moved away?

During this forced ritual of social interaction, you will peck two or more people, get rejected by three, and inwardly curse your parents for forcing you to be here.

Ughh!! Kisses Everywhere!! 

2. Remembering Everyone's Names





In fairness, this is not strictly a Lebanese problem but with the huge tables and all-too-familiar faces, it becomes difficult to remember your mum’s grandmother’s sister’s daughter. Of course, the worst part about forgetting their name is the fact that they somehow ALWAYS seem to remember yours.

The more Lebanese-esque problem here is: do we say Tant, or Aunty, or Madame, or 3ammo to our parents’ friends? Do I call my teta’s sister Khalto or Teta?

I never know what to say!

3. Teta 



Your teta tends to make things awkward by either forcing food on you if it's her own, or unabashedly complaining about the quality of food if you're at a restaurant, which makes you wish you could just disappear under the table... forever.

“Teta, did you try this? No? Have a bite. It’s good. But add some toum. It’s better. Look, there’s wara’ 3ineb. Let me put it for you.”

Teta <3

4. I’d Like to Have the Last Piece of Kibbeh? Yes? Please?



I mean, come on. The mezze is never evenly distributed anyways, and no one seems to want that last piece but your mother is giving you that look with the raised eyebrows and forced smile that indirectly communicates: “You've already had three pieces, leave some for the others.”

You, nevertheless, awkwardly eat it when no one is looking and wait for your mother to lecture you at home later about how you completely lack in lady-like etiquette.

Just Eat It Bro !!! 

5. Got Full from the Mezze. What Do I Do with the Mashewe?



Honey, you eat it. It cost a shit load of money, and you seemed super excited to order that shish tawouk sandwich at midnight which, I will not hesitate to remind you, costs triple the kibbeh you couldn’t seem to stop eating seconds ago.

Muuuuuuuuum! :@

6. Is This a Game of 20 Questions?





Discussions are amazing – don’t get me wrong. But when someone you essentially consider a stranger starts asking you personal questions that you have a hard time even talking to your own friends about, we've entered awkward territory.

Especially if it is the all-too-familiar: “when are you getting married?” question by your great aunt.

Please Go Awaaaay!

7. The Drunken Uncle and the Overdressed Woman




The drunken uncle is hilarious.

He gets cray on the shots of arak, and if by any chance, the restaurant/house has dancing music, he will dance all over the place. If you’re not accustomed to this, you will feel very, very awkward.

On the other end of the table, you have your mother’s super prestigious friend who sits with three kilos of makeup and nine inch heels, and kids that are super quiet and scared. It’s awkward just looking at her.

Awkwaaard!!! 

8. When They Decide to Talk about Politics




When you see the talk moving towards anything political, kindly excuse yourself and exit to the bathroom to play a quick game (or two) of Quiz Up.

Things are about to get loud, drinks are about to spill, and lahme is about to be thrown. It will resolve itself rather quickly, and everyone will become best friends once again.

We promise.

9. The Fight Over the Check



This one should not be missed because, although infinitely awkward, it is nevertheless enjoyable to witness. You will see the zu3ama (“masters”) of the table rise to bicker over who gets to pay the four hundred dollar check and wonder to yourself why they don’t simply divide it to make life easier.

Don’t feel awkward, bro. You should feel like a boss!


10. The Endless Post-Dinner Conversations by the Car




At this point, you really just want to go home but for some reason, five hours of conversation and 20 goodbyes are not enough for Lebanese people.

This shit will never end.
Points of sale
Head There!
Beirut Arrow Arrow
Virgin Megastores
Tel +961 1-759317/8/9/20/21 | Pin Get directions
Virgin Megastores City Mall
Tel +961 1 887190 | Pin Get directions
Virgin Megastores ABC Achrafieh
Tel +961 1 217810 | Pin Get directions
Virgin Megastores - Beirut Souks
Tel +961 1 991565 | Pin Get directions
Virgin Megastores - City Center
Tel +961 1 285394 | Pin Get directions
Virgin Megastores - ABC Verdun
Tel +961 1 795126 | Pin Get directions
Kesserwan Arrow Arrow
Casino du Liban
Tel +961 9 859 888 / 999 | Pin Get directions
Bookstop - TBO
Tel +961 9 930628 | Pin Get directions
Baakline Arrow Arrow
Hussam Bookshop - TBO
Tel +961 5 30 30 30 | Pin Get directions
North Metn Arrow Arrow
Virgin Megastores ABC Dbayeh
Tel +961 4 524359 | Pin Get directions
North Arrow Arrow
Ticketing Box-Office (Dar El-Chimal)
Tel +961 6.411311 | Pin Get directions
AS Company - TBO
Tel +961 6 66 13 90 | Pin Get directions
Daleel Akkar - TBO
Tel +961 6 695 618 | Pin Get directions
South Arrow Arrow
Al Ittihad Book Shop - TBO
Tel +961 7 720251 | Pin Get directions
Daher Travel
Tel 961 7 768267 | Pin Get directions
Bekaa Arrow Arrow
Chtaura Park Hotel
Tel +961 8 540011 | Pin Get directions
2018
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
Previous January Next
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Sun
01
02
03
04
05
06
07
08
09
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
Tuesday
January 02,2018
Queen of the Seasons
04:00 PM | Sagesse Theater
KNOW MORE
Friday
January 05,2018
أصحاب ع طول MIMO
05:00 PM | Theatre Albert
KNOW MORE
Saturday
January 06,2018
Queen of the Seasons
04:00 PM | Sagesse Theater
KNOW MORE
Tuesday
January 09,2018
test issam
08:30 PM | BeitMisk
KNOW MORE
Saturday
January 13,2018
Queen of the Seasons
04:00 PM | Sagesse Theater
KNOW MORE
Friday
January 19,2018
علقة و علقناها
08:30 PM | Georges V
KNOW MORE
Saturday
January 20,2018
Queen of the Seasons
04:00 PM | Sagesse Theater
KNOW MORE
علقة و علقناها
08:30 PM | Georges V
KNOW MORE
Friday
January 26,2018
Harakit 6 ayar
08:30 PM | Palais des Congres
BUY TICKETS
Saturday
January 27,2018
Harakit 6 ayar
08:30 PM | Palais des Congres
BUY TICKETS
أصحاب ع طول MIMO
05:00 PM | Theatre Albert
BUY TICKETS
Queen of the Seasons
12:00 AM | Sagesse Theater
BUY TICKETS
No Events!
Media Gallery
Previous Previous
Next Next
Trois Fois Plus D'Amour
Saturday Feb 10,2018
View this event
SEU - Georgian Folk Ensemble Dance Play Button Play Button
Wednesday Feb 21,2018
View this event
Ghassan Saliba
Friday Mar 16,2018
View this event
STRAIGHT FROM THE SOURCE. DIRECT TO YOUR NEWSFEED BE THE FIRST TO GET EXCLUSIVE UPDATES