"I know you've seen all this stuff but you know I would never disrespect you. I'm not that person. I'm just trying to be a friend to him but it is unfortunate that I do have a set of t*ts."
--Katy Perry on texting Kristen Stewart when people were saying that she was sleeping with Kristen's ex-boyfriend, Robert Pattinson. Isn't that sweet? Doesn't Katy seem like such a sweet friend? She's the one who gives the backhand compliments like when she borrows your skirt and while trying it on says, "Gosh, this thing is just so BAGGY ON ME. It just completely disguises my CURVES, but GOSH it looks great on you." She's that one. Good for you, Kristen -- good to know you've got somebody like this "on your side."
In the same interview, Katy also had this thing, a really important thing, to say about John Mayer:
"He pulled away. That was a big hello for me. I realized I could lose the person I loved and I had to deal with some things, issues I think a lot of women have. You can be strong in one aspect of your life but submissive in another. ... [But] 'm not interested in taming anyone - I'm pretty wild myself. ... My days of celebrity saving are over!"
It's official, guys. Not only is she the snotty, passive-aggressive friend, she waxes poetic over John Mayer. Can we officially question this girl's good sense?