Hordes of American women (myself included) have gotten through breakups by listening to the 2010 Taylor Swift song "Dear John," in which she searingly details her mistreatment at the hands of numb Lothario and professional weird-guitar-sex-face-maker John Mayer.
He finally responded to the song in the press last summer, via Entertainment Weekly, saying, “It made me feel terrible... Because I didn’t deserve it. I’m pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do." He also called it "cheap songwriting," and said that she blindsided him with the very public declaration of hurt rather than send him an email or text about how she felt.
However, all's fair in love and the Top 40, because Mayer's now released a single of his own that's likely about his relationship with T-Swizzle. (It also features Joanna Roarbach, the Prancersize lady. Who even knows.) The chorus is one of the most obvious hints that "Paper Doll" is about his relationship with (and subsequent musical takedown by) Swifty: "You’re like twenty-two girls in one / And none of them know what they’re runnin’ from." Swift, obviously, is known of late for her single "22."
Some more lyrics we've decoded:
Mayer in "Paper Doll:" Fold a scarf, Moroccan red
And tie your hair behind your head
Strap into some heels that hurt
You should’ve kept my undershirt.
As we became aware during the Hyannisport/Conor Kennedy era, T-Swizzle has a penchant for red polka-dotted Rosie The Riveter '50s headwear. She also sang in "All Too Well" about how ex Jake Gyllenhaal jacked her scarf.
Taylor Swift in "Dear John": You paint me a blue sky, then go back and turn it to rain.
Mayer in "Paper Doll:" Someone’s gonna paint you another sky.
Are you convinced yet? This wouldn't be the first time Mayer has been rumored to turn his celebrity romances into lyrics; he supposedly wrote "Your Body is a Wonderland" about Jennifer Love Hewitt. And "Shadow Days" was reportedly penned as a "farewell letter" to Jennifer Aniston (who he blabbed about to the paparazzi like five seconds after their breakup) with lyrics like, "Well I ain't no trouble maker/And I never meant her harm/But it doesn't mean I didn't make it/Hard to carry on."